Sunday, April 24, 2011

Casual Casualties

A lazy sunday evening, I sit in the favorite corner of my nest glued on to my laptop doing nothing but crowded with a thousand thoughts none of which make sense to me at least for now.What is it that a 20 something female wants, thinks or desires? The question is not new to me or to any female in the metro; be it a sweet girl next door going grocery shopping, the retro chick lost in her world enjoying the thumping music screaming out of the earphones or the uber cool dame dreamimg about her Oh- so- perfect wedding and honeymoon with her supposedly loyal, oops royal prince charming or the career oriented perfectionist(who might be just the opposite in her personal life)- what is that one thing that binds all of us in a common emotional thread?

All our lives we strive to get things right so that sometime in the future we have a perfectly happy life. In the wake of finding perfect happiness we keep ignoring the not-so-perfect but surely mesmerizing moments in life. Thanks to the bollywood movies of the nineties our illusions of having a perfect life only become stronger. Only if we were exposed to the realistic movies and shown the ugly truth, would our expectations be more realistic? If you have a good job you mull over your personal life, if you are committed and your cuppycake cutie pie stands up to your expectations you curse your boss for not letting you leave office on time on a friday evening let alone leaving early.Single girls like us have a lot to sulk about. No, most of us do not have the courage to be in a stable relationship (the environment around us gives us enough reasons to stay away from getting in to a relation).

There are new words in our dictionary today - sexting (exchanging sexual text messages), F!@# buddies, one night stands (okay this one is an old one) and the one I loathe the most -REBOUND; what has not changed is the fact that all these words can't fill the void created due to lack of that one special feeling. We have started coming out of the closet and declaring "I don't love you but I am attracted towards you physically" and the feeling is mutual. We dive in to this pool of new age casual relationships only to realize that it is the physical hunger that satiates but the emotional thirst keeps us parching. The irony is that in this bustling city life one thing that binds us is loneliness.

It all sounds music to the ear and fun initially but you soon realize that it is not fun and distraction that we want. We only become lonelier.

We might be capable of taking risks and giving casual relations a shot but are we prepared for the serious caualties that come with them as a free gift? We might be open to experimenting but are we pain proof to carry on this experiment? A week or may be a fortnight in to it and we start expecting booty calls to turn in to late night emotional bonding while our counterparts of the opposite sex still mantain their ground of lusting for us and not loving us. They are biologically programmed to remain in a state of inertia for longer than us. The truth is it is physical loneliness for them but it is emotional loneliness bubble wrapped in physical loneliness for us. That is where we falter, end up getting more hurt, becoming lonelier and we ourselves are to be blamed for this. We secretely hope our casual relations to shape into something serious, longterm or even lifeterm.

It is time to realize that we are priviliged to distract ourselves by better things: Shop for shoes and bags (cliched but true), visit a spa, read Durjoy Datta books (amazing stuff), go for a walk all by yourself, go out with your girlfriends (if you have any), and if nothing works then post interesting status messages on facebook (do not bother about what people say).

Just when I wonder how to end this write up my savior calls to check how I am doing(he guessed my plan to hang out with my girl friends did not materialize). A little pep talk with him and my spirits go high. He is one killer who can kill all negativity around you. Sometimes a little message from somebody, nobody who knows anybody is enough to hit a high note. How I wish this chap was gay! Anyways all you girls just chill and feel good there are good times coming our way (for how long they are to stay I am unsure , fingers crossed).

PS: Go out paint the town red, wear your heart on your sleeve but DO NOT let yourself to be hurt, we are yet to master the rules of their game(read enjoyment without attachment), as for me I am happy painting my nails red :)

1 comment:

  1. I just went through your wonderful blog, while I was searching Harsh Snehanshu's "Oops! I fell in love!" reviews. Looks like, I've an interesting idea for you.

    Well, Harsh has been in news lately since he has completed his second novel and has very recently launched a very interesting social media campaign for his second book, titled The Lazy Writer's Competition, where he's inviting people to suggest him the title for his next book on his fan page. It's for the first time anybody is crowd-sourcing a book's title in India and I think, it would be great if popular bloggers like you become the first one to write on it.

    You can read about it here:


    Rishabh Singh
    Social Media Reporter
    Hindustan Times